Here’s the Thing about Parenting Adult Kids #2

Hold on! Here’s the thing…

Sometimes being invited means even more when you are fully prepared not to ask.

I was nearby while my son was visiting his girlfriend at her new apartment. I thought about reaching out, but I didn’t want to intrude. It was her new place, her moment, and she isn’t my daughter.

Eventually, I sent a simple text just to say hello, with no expectation of being included.

And then they invited me to come see it. 

It was such a small thing, but it made me feel so good.

Not because I expected to be included.

Because I didn’t.

I was perfectly willing to stay out of the way and let them enjoy their time together. But when they said, “Come over,” I was genuinely excited.

I got to see the apartment, share in a little piece of their life, and feel welcomed, not assumed.

And that’s the thing about parenting adult kids.

You learn to pause before inserting yourself. You learn that their lives are theirs. You learn to wait for the invitation.

But when it comes?

You go.

You show up with a smile, ask about the new place, admire the details, and try not to make too big a deal about how happy you are to be included.

And maybe that’s what I’m learning in this season.

Sometimes the invitation is big, like carrying boxes into a dorm room.

Sometimes it’s small, like being asked to stop by and see a new apartment.

But either way, I don’t take it lightly.

Because when your adult kids make room for you in their lives, even for a few minutes, it still feels like a gift.